remorse

The temptation to just burst in to tears is very high.
Actually, her eyes had watered a few times in the elevator, bathroom, stairs, computer lab, classroom. All she had to do is just close her eyes and all those strangers will see her precious tears flowing down her face.
But her tears are just too precious.
And suddenly, she misses her God so much. She knows exactly this is a part of the consequences of her betrayal. She had managed to destroys her own foundation and, therefore, she too, will be shattered in to pieces.

She decided to take a deep breath.
and started to climb the window..and dance through the rain. It was quite enjoyable, although it is far from remorse because she knows that the rain would stop eventually, and she knows she wouldn't be able to forgive herself anyway.

She dances and wishes that one of these days, God will kisses her face like He always used to.
She dances and wishes that her tears will eventually dissolve with the soiled-smelling rain.

Nelangsa

hari ini hujan..
Datang lagi.
Hujan datang dan sepertinya membulak-balik lembaran waktu.
Mendatangkan rasa yang biasanya didapatkan saat diri menutup mata dalam sepi,
atau berjalan ditemani pepohonan yang tertiup angin,
atau melihat gambar laki-laki yang memandang cahaya langit dengan tatapan kosong,
atau mendengar gemercik kubang air karena langkah-langkah kaki,
atau saat sedang duduk di tepi danau dan benar-benar terbuka dengan dua atau tiga orang sahabat berjiwa luar biasa cantik.

hari ini hujan..
Menghilangkan semua rasa kecuali satu.
Menghilangkan rasa yang biasanya diciptakan oleh sekumpulan orang asing yang dikenal,
Menghilangkan penat,
Menghilangkan gundah.

Sampai tiba disadari bahwa hujan telah berhenti.
dan harus tertawa lagi.
Karena jiwa-jiwa yang dapat melihat hujannya telah hilang semua, meninggalkan satu jiwanya bersama dengan topengnya yang paling bijaksana. tawa.